Once Upon a Weekend...

Opening Friday, December 4th

Armored

This looks retarded. That's all.

Brothers

I'm a sucker for this kind of crap. A talkie-drama with established stars, Natalie Portman, Jake Gyllenhaal and Tobey Maguire, Brothers is sure to be the emo release of the week. Unfortunately, the latest television trailers make this look like some second-rate horror flick. But the first full length trailers were much more reassuring. I'm interested in seeing this... if only for Natalie Portman. Who doesn't love Natalie Portman?

At the time I'm writing this, there are 15 reviews calculated on Rottentomatoes.com for Brothers. 8 of them are positive, 7 are negative. These are the best types of movies to see. You have no idea which side of the fence you're going to end up on.

LIMITED RELEASE

These are the movies that most of us will probably have to wait for. Whatev. Regis and I saw one of them over 2 years ago. So we win. We always do.

Everybody's Fine

Robert DeNiro stars as a widower who travels around visiting his kids for the holidays. I'm sure there is some weepy re-connecting with his 3 grown children (Sam Rockwell, Drew Barrymore and Kate Beckinsale) and blah, blah, blah. DeNiro should be entering the twilight of his career with a little more dignity. Instead, we're treated to romcoms, Fockers and Righteous Kill. Compare that to what Brando made in the 70s. Yikes. Bobby D needs to start picking the roles with a little more prejudice, I think. I mean seriously, does he need money? Did he buy a couple of islands like Nic Cage? What's going on?

Anyway, this is the definition of a two star movie in newspaper reviews across the country.

Up in the Air

Bzzzzzzz. That's the sound of buzz. Jason Reitman's latest, Up in the Air is already receiving high praise. After Thank You for Smoking and Juno, Reitman's star has certainly been on the rise. He has stepped out of his father's shadow and has carved out a pretty sweet little career.

George Clooney stars as a guy who fires people and flies around a lot. I'm sure there is some underlying message. And no, I have not read the book - so I'm pretty much clueless. I will certainly check this one out when I can, but who knows when exactly it will be released in Pittsburgh.

Plus I think I saw Danny McBride in the commercial!

Transylmania

Finally, after over 2 years of waiting, Transylmania will be unleashed on unsuspecting audiences across this great nation. From the people who brought you Dorm Daze and Dorm Daze 2, comes Transylmania... or what was originally going to be called Dorm Daze 3. The coolest thing ever is that Regis and I saw this movie 2 years ago and talked about it on our podcast for Saw IV. Here is the link - check it out!

The sad thing is that whenever I see trailers on TV for this movie, I have no real memory of it all. Except for something about jeans. It doesn't matter. This movie is ok for a rental, but it really doesn't belong in theaters. There are no recognizable names in the cast and I doubt its up to snuff when it comes to the budget. It's more than likely only seeing the light of day now because of the Twilight craze that has gripped the movie-going public. Transylmania is hoping to cash in on some of the Bella and Edward sloppy seconds. And hey, there's nothing wrong with that.